God I am pathedic

Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted so why do I feel so stupid for getting worked up over it. I broke up with my boyfriend for having pictures of naked girls on his phone, I mean was that wrong? I hate porn honestly I feel like I will never be good enough like theses girls in the pornos. It is such a stupid mindset but that's how I feel. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive and jealous. I hate it when he talks to girls then lies about it. I know he would never cheat on me but it upsets me. He used to always do little details like write me notes or draw me pictures when he knew I was upset but no I never get that. Maybe he is just bored with me. We are currently broken up but i feel like he is completely indifferent if we get back together or not. Am i wrong for missing the butterflies and the feeling of floating on air. Now I am always mad about something stupid. I never feel like I will be good enough. I also understand that relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies but I just want him to care like I care about him. I tell him absolutely everything, everyone who texts me or calls me , I just wish it was mutual. I never find anything out unless I go through his phone. Like I said I feel completely worthless and pathetic.I guess I just work myself up , but then get let down. God I get so excited when he comes over after work I feel so dumb. I'm just over reacting. Hopefully time will make things okay.

Thing to ponder :
How much money, in pennies, is lying on the streets of the world?

HIghschool

I really love not being in high school. I hate being labeled as a"drop out" but that's what I am. I still go to Jel and I go to GED classes on Mondays and Fridays. It's really nice being able to wake up late and sleep at 2 in the morning, but I have to say the best part is not having to deal with drama. People make high school out to be the most important thing ever. You have to have the best clothes and you can't have a hair out of place. Everyone is going to look back in ten years and want to kick themselves for being so stupid. Sorry to break it to you kids but just because your eighteen or nineteen it dose not mean you are "grown" as I've heard some people say. You are not allowed to disrespect teachers because you are given an order, or make up your own rules. I wish people realized how brainless you all look when you snap at an adult. I don't even want to get started on most high school girls because I will be here all night. All have to say is stop whoring yourself around. You also don't have to look like you stuck your face in an oven and it exploded. There are so many beautiful girls that completely ruin themselves. I don't think I have ever many any more more insecure then high school girls. Yeah we all have insecurities but come on now don't make it so obvious. When you sit there and call other girls ugly and stupid your honestly radiating insecurities. I'm not going to lie we've all done it, I'm guilty of it. I can also admit it was due to insecurities. I always talk bad about my boyfriend's exes. Then there's those kids that are blatantly obvious about being druggies. Really? No one really cares that you smoke weed or get drunk everyday so there is no need to publicise it on facebook or twitter. Then you hear about the kids that smoke weed in their car before school or bring vodka. It is such a stupid concept but the sad part is that people actually do it. It's saddens me how people are so yearning for the acceptance of their peers.Hopefully we all grow out of it sooner then later.

Things to ponder:
If ignorance is bliss why are more people not happy?

Reminiscing

Today we a long day. I woke up around 10:30 dragging to get out of my bed like every other day, but thankfully my mom actually was kind enough to make me breakfast. I went to my internship at La Escolita. My whole intership has turned out to be a quite delightful experience. I really do love children and as much as I don't want it to be my calling, I think It might actually be. I really do love cosmetology,but now it seems to be that I am in between. I wish I could go back to being a child. At that age you want to grow up so fast,but now I can honestly say I miss it. Childhood is so spontaneous and carefree. It was nice when money was never an issue. Your problems were fitting in and hoping everyone like you. I remeber when kids would say " If you do this for me I will be your friend forever" ha now none of those kids are my friends. Well what can we do now? I guess my only option is to grow up and get my butt to work.

Things to ponder:
If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?